Work...

I've been serving at Red Robin for about three weeks now. It was the first job I applied for, and the first interview I got, so I pretty much just went for it. It's been good so far, it's my first serving job so it's been a lot of learning. Like, for instance, learning that everyone who goes to Red Robin is basically a piece of crap with legs, but you have to be nice to them anyway. I think there's this sign at the front door, that I can't see, that says "If you're a complete tool, ask to be seated in Spiker's section." Seriously. What kind of human wasteland orders a water with exactly three ice cubes and 5 lemon wedges? Apparently, anal retentive is a new fad. I'll fit right in...

I've also learned other stuff that's even more useful. Like today, I learned that the manager is always right, especially when the manager is completely wrong.
-"Chris, take that bracelet off."
-"Actually that's my watch"
-"Oh... Well it looks like a bracelet so you should take it off..."
-"But... It says on the wall there that you need a watch, and I tho-"
-"I'm too busy for this right now, we can talk about it later Chris."
-"Uhhh... Okay, but should I keep it on, or... nevermind. Skank..."

I also learned that even when they seat you 5 tables at the SAME TIME, you're still supposed to be able to take all their orders and bring them drinks within two minutes, because Superman worked at the first Red Robin, and if he can do it then you can too! Right... Superman was never that cool anyway. Name any other superhero that was ever felled by a rock. Call me crazy but what kind of panzy loses all his power when he gets near a green rock, seriously. This guy is worse than Goliath; at least David had to launch the rock at that guy, all you have to do with Superman is slip some in his Christmas stocking and he's done like dinner. Maybe throw a little in his morning tea. Shit, just send him some in the mail! Fricken Superman, GOD... More like STUPIDMAN... haha...

The truth is, the only thing I've actually learned at Red Robin is this: People suck. Sometimes, no matter what you bring out, there's a problem with it.
- "This is too... Perfect!... I can't eat this, it's like a piece of art! Bring me something edible, cabana boy!"
- "Oh, well... Okay, fine. But my name's act-"
- "Your tip is going down with each word, cabana boy..."
- "........ Be right back with your meal, sir"
- "...I'm a girl."
- "..................... "

Also, I've discovered that I am missing one crucial ability that every server needs to wait tables effectively; The ability to read minds. Because, you know, when the customer orders the chicken quesadilla, it's only because they're distracted by the pretty colored balloons at the adjacent table, and what they REALLY wanted was a taco salad with no beans and dressing on the side. Obviously, this misunderstanding is my fault. Does anyone know where I can buy a gun?...

Even after all the ridiculous things I've been through in the measly three weeks I've been working as a server, there is still one small victory, one shining star which seems to bring light to even the darkest of rooms, and seems to bring a pleasantness to even the very worst of days: At least I'm not working in the kitchen. BOOYAKASHA!

Spiker